I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
