pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
