He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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