After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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