I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
