Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
