babies were throwing up all over the place
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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