$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We have started to decorate penises.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
