I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
