Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
