i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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