We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
