One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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