i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
