Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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