ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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