I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
