so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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