is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
