You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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