I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
