i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
