I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
