At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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