the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Everyone says I win the strip club
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
