Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
