So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
