I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
