His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
