I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
