can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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