Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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