I've blown a few things in my day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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