You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Walk of Shame today included voting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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