ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize