Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
