Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
