I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
