She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
