I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
