So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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