Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
