4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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