she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
