Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
