Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
