doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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