my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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