I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
