I wanna passion pit in your ass
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
