how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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