Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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