oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
