That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
