Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
