I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
