woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
