He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
