I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
