Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize